A Grandchild’s Gift
Over
the past several months something extraordinary has been happening between my
God child Rachel and her nana and papa. I believe this ‘extraordinary’ is God’s
hand working to reveal His love. I have written this letter with one
intention…….and that is to share with you what I believe is the hand of Christ
at work in our family…….through a seventeen year old girl. Each one of us as
nana & papa’s adult children and each one of you as grandchildren have
“gifts” that God has given us/you and it is our job to find those gifts in
ourselves and in each other and to share these gifts. I am simply going to
point out one gift that I have seen in Rachel over the past few months; a gift
that has brought me to wonder, a gift that has inspired me and a gift that has
brought me to tears on more than one occasion.
For
the past few years I have tried to understand “care” from God’s perspective and
not from my own.
How
can it be that a seventeen year old girl would willingly leave her home to go
live with her grandparents in their home? To go at a time when nana and papa
are reaching a season in life where independence is becoming more difficult and
the stereotypical and societal darkness of “oldness/aging” casts a dark shadow
where most of us would try to avoid both in thought and in physical reality.
When I reflect on my life at age 17, I see nothing even close to what Rachel is
doing. In fact, what I see is “me” and what could I do or what could someone
else do for…”ME.” In all honesty as I look back to my teenage years, I see the
center of “selfishness.” I don’t think there was a more selfish time of my life
and so to see someone at this age so devoted to family, specifically her own
grandparents strikes me as abnormal. I do not regret my teenage years but I now
see something in Rachel that I adore and respect and I hope each one of us will
take note of what God is doing in her life and to thank God for this.
This
year “2013” has been a very trying year for both nana and papa, mainly due to
nana’s failing heart valve, her recent diagnosis of dementia and most recently
the fall she had on Thanksgiving that required hospitalization. But, also for
the change in role for papa who was the one perhaps we all thought was the
center of concern for needing care. Papa should still be at the center of
concern for care but not so much for the care he needs but for the care he is
giving to nana. This care that papa is giving is not so much the physical care
but the emotional care and support that a true companion and friend gives. This
kind of care requires a very high level of patience, understanding and
kindness. The greatest gift we could all give nana and papa now is the ‘gift of
time.’ Their lives have been richly blessed with family, travel, material
possessions and now the gift it seems that they enjoy most is time spent with
their children and grandchildren. I pray that I too someday will have children
or grandchildren that will care for my wife Kate and for me the way Rachel is
caring for her grandparents. Each child and grandchild has a gift to give to
nana and papa and that gift is time and attention. Whether it is time spent on
the phone, time spent writing a card or making a gift or time spent in their
presence focused on them, I believe ‘time’ is the greatest gift we can give
nana and papa. Time alone though is not what matters. It is our “attention”….
not attention to ourselves but attention focused on them, nana and papa. This
is difficult especially at a time when there are so many distractions from TV,
iPhones, iPads, iToy, iMe, “I”…..”I”…..”I.”
In the
photo on the front page, who do you think God is calling you to be? The woman
who is being served….. or the one who is serving?
Trying
to live with humility,
Rob
